Friday, 5 September 2014

Elf generator

kay nielsen

Its speaks d6
1 With telepathy. Sweats sap when being social.
2 In riddles with no answers. Puffs spores when it talks.
3 In terrible limericks that badly rhyme and have no rhythm, while constantly twitching.
4 Always in quotes of people that don’t exist. Yet.
5 In slam poetry. Breathes out dandelion seeds.
6 In haikus that don’t obey the rules. It is rude to point it out.

Terribly offended by 1d8
1 little white lies. Big ones are okay because theyre all dramatic.
2 matching shoes/gloves/socks. Constantly side-eyeing you and grimacing if you break this cardinal fashion rule. Will flip a coin to decide whether to take pity on you.
3 people that eat plants. Will spit on you upon finding out, but then immediately continue as otherwise.
4 old people and the colour red. Would probably cry if the two were combined.
5 saltwater and things from the sea
6 Metal cutlery. Can smell it on you.
7 practical things
8 the male gender

Utterly charmed by d8
1 mutes and mimes.
2 fans. Both meanings of the word.
3 sand
4 forty four year olds. People on the edge of entropy.
5 things caked in dried blood
6 origami
7 sad looking people
8 things that can change colour. Mood rings, cuttlefish, chameleons e.t.c